feminist blogs in english

This year TBTN took on a whole new meaning for mafia members. We got to help plan and (of course) particpate in this annual event. Planning this event was at times nerve wrecking- with week to week meetings, some overly enthuastic committee members, last minute glitches, and worries that no one would show--- but it worked out well and we had an attendance of about 200 + women, children and doggies. We also raised some money for a local charity thanks to our many generous particpants who enjoyed baked goods and hot chocolate afterwards. A good time was had by all.

We just wanted to share the history of TBTN with those readers who may have never heard of it, or who might possible want to hold their own event.-----

This weekend I was blessed to attend the Feminist Research Group conference at the University of Windsor. For those who don't know what this is, it is a collection of interdisciplinary graduate students coming together to present their perspective Master papers to peers. All the presentations have their merits, some more polished then others, but all of the presentations leave attendees feeling inspired and excited for the future.

It was during this time I met a presenter from Massachusetts. It was her first year at the FRG and I asked her how she was enjoying it. She said that it was great--the food, the space, the efficiency and the presentations-- and the feeling of inclusiveness. I was puzzled when she said that. I had to ask her what she meant. "Last year I had attended a conference in NY and they were appalled that I was Pro-Life, to which they automatically said- there is no possible way you can call yourself a feminist. For the rest of the conference I felt excluded and I really began to think about what it means to be a feminist."

I was completely annoyed that she would be treated that way.

I said, "What an absolutely horrible experience that must have been for you. It sounds like you were surrounded by some very die hard second wavers there. I think that this type of behaviour excludes the possibilities of what can be. I like so many other feminist, love our foremothers. They have inspired not just their generation but our generation, and have given us the freedom to dare to dream. Third wave feminism is rooted in the basic feminist principles - equality for all, social justice, exposing sources of oppression, sexual liberation and of course- activism. Does it mean that we all look the same no. I personally think that Third wave is fluid, that individually we can come together on one topic and completely disagree on another- does that make either one of us less of a feminist? I don't think so. Does it disregard the hard work of the second wave? No, I think it's only natural that feminism changes with the world."

She thought for a moment, and said " I like how you think. I know for sure I will be back next year."

Right or wrong I don't think there is a particular way of being a feminist. I surely don't want to pass judgement on others, because to me being a feminist is a very personal thing, and more importantly, I would never want to disregard the hard work, love, time, and sacrifice of our foremothers. We have nothing but love, respect and adoration for their hard work. I personally have never lost sight of everything you have done for us, and we remain grateful. But much like children, there is a time for us to find our own way. A time when we have to take the knowledge you have armed us with and forge our own path in this world. We are not clones but rather an extent ion of you. The roots you have planted are deep and strong we will not forget, or forsake those ideals which unite all feminist.

For all my feminist sisters, embrace the differences, marvel in the possibilities of what might be, know with your heart that we will move forward and continue to fight the good fight until we have achieved our goals. Do not allow difference of opinion cloud your mind and divide you. We have much to accomplish and we can only do it with the love and support of one another. I leave you with a thought:


Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood. ~~~ Gloria Steinem~~~

Erma Bombeck saved my life.

For those of you who don’t know who she is, let me share. She was just an average, everyday wife and mother who wrote about her simply “complicated” life. Being a single mother I always felt that I wasn’t good enough. I had one kid that loved to eat gum of the ground, another who was forever flushing things down the toilet, and another who was fixated on girls at time when others his age considered them “gross”, and one that just wanted to stay with my mother. I felt like I was the most screwed up mother on the planet, that my kids were doomed for a life of therapy and meds (although my motto is “I am more then positive your therapist will love this story”). I needed a beacon of hope.

One day in a secondhand bookstore I came across Erma’s book entitled “If life is a bowl of Cherries…what am I doing in the pits?” I picked it up thinking it might be a fun read. So sitting on the train on the way home I started reading. I laughed and laughed, and laughed some more, to the dismay of those around me. Apparently when you’re the only one who is privy to a joke, it is annoying to others, but that did not stop me from laughing so hard that tears came to my eyes. This particular day I was reading about her learning to play tennis because she wanted to be “ cool and hip” like other moms, but she ended up entangling herself in the net and falling flat on her back in front of the whole club, to her children’s shock and dismay. Of course she was embarrassed but she found the humour in it and took it in stride. Her everyday adventures were so completely unimportant, but that is exactly why they were so interesting .

Erma gave me hope, where all other parenting books made me want to hand my children over to children’s services before I completely ruined their lives. In the pages of her books I learned that what I was going through was normal, and that I would live through it. I learned that no matter how crazy things seem they could be worse. She assured me that as a mother, that I was not a failure and that I didn’t have to be what everyone else expected. In the end I would be okay, and the kids would be okay, and she was right. Her love and laughter came through in her writing.

One amazing and inspiring thing I want to you to know about her, is not just her writing, but also her personal story. Erma suffered from a hereditary kidney disease, and battled cancer in her later years, yet through it all she was a wife, mother and a journalist. She wrote four thousand syndicated columns and wrote 15 best selling books. She was part of the feminist movement of the 60’s and she inspired women all over the world, until 1996 when she passed away from her ongoing battle with cancer.

Erma Bombeck’s legacy lives on and through the lives of women like myself. Women who needed to hear that their unconventional parenting skills were not bad, only different. Women who needed to laugh at things rather then blow a gasket over something that they had no control over. And more importantly to enjoy being a parent, because in a blink of an eye, they go from diapers to college. She inspired me, and pushed me forth, thus saving my life.

I think its only fitting that I leave you with a quote:

~It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. ~Erma Bombeck

Thank You Erma wherever you are~~xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

This month is about denouncing Violence Against Women and Girls. The white ribbon campaign is near and dear to the hearts of many. At my school there are many events to promote bring awareness to the community, and let women and girls know where they can get help if they need it.

On the very first day of the campaign we had a guest speaker on campus- None other then the defence attorney for Robert Picton- Adrian Brooks. For those who might not know Picton was convicted of murdering 6 prostitutes, implicated in 20 more deaths and claims to have killed up to 49 victims-- all women. Picton said "I would have liked to make it 50 even but I got sloppy."

Picton's guilt was undeniable. DNA evidence sealed his fate; it was all technicalities at the trial. So there is no way Mr.Brooks can say that he had no prior knowledge of his client’s guilt. Picton's given rights state that he is entitled to due process- innocent till proven guilty-any attorney who represented
Picton would make history; this would be jewel in his crown. I respect the fact that from a legal standpoint his experience in this trial is definitely relevant. He participated in grim historical event, which will not be forgotten any time soon.
Unfortunately, for Mr.Brooks he is now guilty by association.

I found it in very poor taste for Mr.Brooks to speaking on the opening day of the white ribbon campaign. From a moral standpoint the mere fact alone that he defended Picton-whose trial was a mere formality- speaks volumes as the possible character of Mr.Brooks (this is my own thoughts). There were many other times that he could have come to talk- why that day of all days? Did the establishment not know that we- the students, the community; the women- would find that offensive?

It saddens me to see that the lives of these women are so blatantly overlooked - just so we could be graced with his presence----- lucky us …..

Violence against women is a serious issue in Canada
Half of Canadian women (51%) have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16.
Every minute of every day, a Canadian woman or child is being sexually assaulted.
One to two women are murdered by a current or former partner each week in Canada.
Spousal violence makes up the single largest category of convictions involving violent offences in non-specialized adult courts in Canada over the five-year period 1997/98 to 2001/02. Over 90% of offenders were male.
Thirty-six percent of female victims of spousal violence and less than 10% of victims of sexual assault reported these crimes to the police in 2004.

each year (factoring into account social services, criminal justice, lost employment days and health care interventions).
Violence against women occurs across all ethnic, racial, religious, age, social and economic groups. Some women are more vulnerable however, and are more likely to experience violence, including women with disabilities, geographically-isolated women, young women and Aboriginal women.
Women are more likely than men to be victims of the most severe forms of violence
Women experience higher rates than men of sexual assault, stalking, serious spousal assaults and spousal homicide.
In 2004, twice as many women than men were beaten by their partners and four times as many were choked.
Of the almost 34,000 victims of spousal violence reported in 2000, women accounted for the majority of victims (85%): a total of 28,633 victims.
Women are three times more likely than men to be physically injured by spousal violence and five times more likely to require medical attention.
Women are five times more likely to fear for their lives as a result of spousal violence: the violence or threat of violence was so severe that 38% of women feared for their lives compared with 7% of men.

Violence against women affects children
Every year in Canada, up to 360,000 children are exposed to domestic violence.
For children who are exposed to violence, consequences can include emotional trauma, depression, injury and permanent disability, as well as other physical, psychological and behavioural problems that can extend into adolescence and adulthood.
58,486 women and 36,840 children sought refuge in one of 473 shelters across Canada between April 1, 2003 and March 31, 2004.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

every 3 minutes a woman is beaten
every five minutes a
woman is raped/every ten minutes
a lil girl is molested
yet i rode the subway today
i sat next to an old man who
may have beaten his old wife
3 minutes ago or 3 days/30 years ago
he might have sodomized his
daughter but i sat there
cuz the young men on the train
might beat some young women
later in the day or tomorrow
i might not shut my door fast
every 3 minutes it happens
some woman's innocence
rushes to her cheeks/pours from her mouth
like the betsy wetsy dolls have been torn
apart/their mouths
menses red & split/every
three minutes a shoulder
is jammed through plaster and the oven door/
chairs push thru the rib cage/hot water or
boiling sperm decorate her body
i rode the subway today
& bought a paper from a
man who might
have held his old lady onto
a hot pressing iron/i don't know
maybe he catches lil girls in the
park & rips open their behinds
with steel rods/i can't decide
what he might have done i only
know every 3 minutes
every 5 minutes every 10 minutes/so
i bought the paper
looking for the announcement
the discovery/of the dismembered
woman's body/the
victims have not all been
identified/today they are
naked and dead/refuse to
testify/one girl out of 10's not
coherent/i took the coffee
& spit it up/i found an
announcement/not the woman's
bloated body in the river/floating
not the child bleeding in the
59th street corridor/not the baby
broken on the floor/
there is some concern
that alleged battered women
might start to murder their
husbands & lovers with no
immediate cause"
i spit up i vomit i am screaming
we all have immediate cause
every 3 minutes
every 5 minutes
every 10 minutes
every day
women's bodies are found
in alleys & bedrooms/at the top of the stairs
before i ride the subway/buy a paper/drink
coffee/i must know/
have you hurt a woman today
did you beat a woman today
throw a child across a room
are the lil girl's panties
in yr pocket
did you hurt a woman today
i have to ask these obscene questions
the authorities require me to
establish
immediate cause
every three minutes
every five minutes
every ten minutes
every day.

Ntozake Shange