feminist blogs in english

A week prior to its July 13th release, M.I.A.’s new album, /\/\/\Y/\ (or Maya), was made available streaming on the artist’s MySpace page. The agitprop-meets-cyberpunk video for “Born Free” is the most inspiring thing I’ve seen all year (a clear indication that M.I.A.’s message is as much visual as it is aural), and my guess [...]

One of the central problems of North American feminism is its uneasy attitude to female sexuality. One of my most popular posts lists some strange statements about sex I encountered on feminist websites. Among these weird statements was an assertion that still gets a lot of support in the feminist community. It consisted of a defense of faking one's orgasms in order to spare one's partner's ego.

Author’s note: While this post doesn’t have any explicit pictures, it may not be safe for work (NSFW). This article refers to mainstream, heterosexual pornography and heterosexual relationships in terms of desires. I find porn* fascinating. I’ve always identified with the feminist camp that was pro-porn but sometimes I get a notch in my stomach [...]

Last year — three long years after it was approved for use in girls — the FDA approved the use of the HPV vaccine for boys.   Now the vaccine, which is manufactured by both Merck and GlaxoSmithKline, is recommended for young men and women ages 9 to 26 to protect against several strains of the [...]

So, you’re in love.  I understand.  And s/he’s amazing, I know, we’ve most of us been there.  You share an indescribable connection of the heart and soul, a connection you’d soon like to develop into heart, body, and soul.  Yes, most of us have been there, too.  First, though, you have the “talk,” and then s/he tells you those three little words… I have HPV.

Unfortunately, more and more of us are, or will be, similarly situated yet again. Human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common sexually transmitted virus in the United States.  According to the CDC, 80% of American women will be infected with HPV by age 50.  There are over 100 types of HPV, thusly named because some types can cause warts (a.k.a. papillomas) on different areas of the body, including the sexy parts.  Speaking of which, according to the CDC, at least 50% of sexually active people will be infected with genital HPV, over 6 million new cases per year.  Over 30 types of HPV can be transmitted through some kind of sexual contact (including all your best moves, original recipe to extra spicy).  Two types of HPV cause 90% of genital warts cases, and another two cause 75% of cervical cancer cases.

There are likely to be just as many reasons HPV is so prolific as there are terrifying statistics I just threw at you.  For example, there is no test for men, no treatment which eliminates it, and most infections go undetected because there are often no symptoms.  Vaccines are only (so far) FDA-approved for young people (under 26), and most effective when given prior to any sexual contact.  The virus is transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, meaning condoms are effective, but not as effective as with other viruses (i.e., HIV).  A person’s body can usually fight the infection, mostly within a year or two; however, the persistent virus can cause cancer.  With that in mind, let’s get back to your intractable situation.

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In a comment below last Thursday’s post on the myth of male inflexibility, SamSeaborn wrote:

…mating, at least in the early stages, is dominated by female choice, and women do have a tendency to prefer doers, not feelers as partners. Sure masculinity and feminity are ever-adjusting, but the problem at this point is, it seems to me, that masculinity is squeezed between an expanding concept of feminity (the best man for the job may be the woman) and the reality “on the ground” that forces most men to compete more intensely for the fewer places “in the sun” because, put in overly simplified terms, it’s those men most women seem to be interested in. I’m not saying men have no power in sexual negotiations, but those who have tend to be the ones who are in scarce supply, and that’s those who managed to get through the fiercer competition.

Again, I’m all *for* changing that, but I don’t see female CEOs being interested in male kindergarten teachers. This is the crux of the problem, and feminism isn’t really offering any advice.

He got a number of replies, of which La Lubu’s was both typical and cogent:

Where I come from, teaching and nursing do not take a man out of the “wanted” pool—it’s the polar opposite. Those are considered decent jobs. Are female CEOs (yeah, there sure are a lot of those) dating those men? No. But are women of the same social class dating and/or marrying them? Hell, yes. People—men and women both—date within their social class. Men of high socioeconomic status might recreationally fuck a woman of lower status, but they sure the hell don’t marry them (or even introduce them to their country-club friends).

Who do you know, in your life, that has rejected a man with a decent paying but below six-figure job because of his earning power? If you don’t have any anecdata, what statistical evidence can you show me that states this? I have never seen that—ever. I see the opposite—heterosexual men who hold those jobs that you (as a male) regard as unmasculine, are almost always married. Evidently, women have a different measure of what constitutes masculinity. We don’t really give a hot damn who is King of the Mountain.

The argument that SamSeaborn advances is basically this one: “Men don’t like wearing the straitjacket of masculinity, true. But women want us to. In fact, the only way we get laid is when we engage in stereotypical male behavior. Therefore, it’s women’s fault that we’re suffering from the constraints of manhood, and women have only themselves to blame that they cannot find the male partners they claim to want. If women would only change their sexual decision-making, then men would behave better. But as long as women reward hyper-masculine asshole-dom with sex, then men have no incentive to change.”

I hear this argument frequently from anti-feminists of both sexes.

Stay with me for a second: I’m old enough to have gone to elementary school when they still showed movies in class: proper films, the sort that came on reels. Students fought for the privilege to “thread the projector”, a term that will be meaningless to anyone under thirty. And many of the films I remember best came from Disney’s “Trure Life Adventures” series. These had been filmed in the 1950s, but they didn’t seem dated in mid-1970s classrooms. I remember film after film exploring the wonder of mating. Everything was G-rated, of course, but the basic idea was obvious: males in the animal kingdom do all that they can to put on impressive displays in order to attract a female. The latter had all the power when it came to sex selection. Reading Sam’s comment, I can’t help but wonder if his sexual worldview owes more to Disney nature films than to 21st century human reality.

I hear from a great many young men the familiar complaint that “girls just want bad boys”. There are lots of reasons why we socialize young women to want disaffected, hostile, and brooding young men. Mostly it has to do with the “my love can change him” notion I wrote about in this post. It’s a phenomenon of the very young, however; relatively few adult women continue to buy into the delusion that they have the capacity to love a violent and unreliable man into compassionate responsibility. The point is, a great many young men oversell the “good girls only want bad boys” trope because they sense the obvious benefit: if they then themselves mistreat women, they are not doing it out of any defect in their natures, but out of a rational strategy for improving their mating odds. It is women themselves who have made these rules, these boys and young men say (often with sincerity); we fellas just have to adapt as best we can. It’s yet another corollary to the myth of male weakness: bad male behavior gets cunningly reframed as an evolutionary adaptation demanded by women, and the blame for everything falls nicely once again on the shoulders and hearts and libidos of the be-uterused.

Sam is talking about the grown-up version of this. In a world which is still in some sense a jungle, he argues, even the most well-educated and successful woman wants a man who can take care of her. This may be more likely to mean “make lots of money” than “beat up creepers who ogle me”, but it’s still the lament that women’s hearts and sex drives don’t really match up with feminist politics. Though all of the evidence suggests that more men don’t seek out nurturing professions because of a combination of socialization and fear of ridicule by other men, many anti-feminists suggest that women’s refusal to take male nurses or kindergarten teachers seriously as potential mates is the primary force driving men away. When real-life women like La Lubu and Mythago and the others in the comment thread suggest that this is just so much pap, their experiences and desires are dismissed as anecdotes that are entirely unrepresentative of the mass of “real women” about whom the likes of SamS apparently know so much.

It is axiomatic that heterosexual men and women regularly misunderstand what the other sex wants. These misunderstandings are reinforced by a media that hypes absurd caricatures of masculinity and femininity, leading young boys to imagine that without an eight-pack on their tummies, they are destined for lonely celibacy — and leading girls to believe that all young men insist on being partnered with those who have bodies like Khloe Kardashian’s. These misperceptions are excusable in adolescents, less so in adults a decade or two (or three, or four) removed from puberty. Too many men and women assume that their acquaintances of the other sex are lying when they say things that deviate from culturally-imposed expectations. So when a man hears a woman say, “No, I really do want a partner who will be an equal rather than a non-communicative workaholic”, he may tell himself, “Bullshit. She’s just saying that. I know what women really want.” This “knowledge” is often rooted in random anecdote, or his own imagination, or some slick purveyor of misogyny masquerading as common sense like Tom Leykis or Laura Schlessinger. (To be fair, many women have a hard time believing that male weakness really is a myth rather than a biological reality. When a man says to his partner, “Honey, I only want you”, she may have been so conditioned to believe in the impossibility of male fidelity that she too thinks her own quiet “bullshit.”)

To the extent that men really are being “left behind” in the new economic and educational paradigm, it is because of the inability of so many men to slip the surly bonds of traditional masculinity. The problem isn’t female teachers who “don’t understand boys”, the problem isn’t “feminism”, and the problem isn’t the imagined disconnect between heterosexual women’s politics and their libidos. The problem is a hopelessly constrained vision of what it means to be a man, a vision largely created and maintained and passed on by men. Fathers and brothers and peers; rappers and ballers and professional pugilists; these are the all-too-faithful perpetuators of the myth that women will only accept “sturdy oaks” who “give ‘em hell” and never, ever, display grief or vulnerability.

Individual men suffer from what is, in the end, a collective masculine crime; we are, to paraphrase an old AA saying, the architects of our own adversity. The relentless attempt to shift the blame to women’s irrationality or inconsistency cannot long obscure that hard and heartbreaking truth.

(Emphasis mine.)

Chairman of the AIDS Foundation, Colin Brewer, said while the foundation was making progress in the fight, there was still much to do.

[...]

He added that although the foundation provided assistance to those living alternative lifestyles, it did not condone the behaviour.

He also urged those present to "rededicate" themselves to the challenge of eradicating any stigma associated with HIV.

Well. Wonder where that stigma comes from.

During a not-as-loud-as-usual moment during Rink Rash Whip Lash, I grabbed Thundra Storm, aka Anna Hermanniusson, to talk about Derby, the night, and what its all about.

Hannah: So which team are you from?

Thundra: The Fremantle Derby Dames

Hannah: Awesome, how many teams are there?

Thundra: There's the Fremantle Derby Dames, The Cut Lasses up in Joondalup, The
Central Team, Bunbury...

Hannah: Bunbury as well! So regional teams are setting up?

Thundra: Yeah, the Kalgoolie team has just started up, and theres also a
central perth team starting up pretty soon…I believe they’re currently
going under the name of Central Swarm, but no conformations yet.

Hannah: I wanted to be party of that team, but I’m just not that good…

Thundra: You pick it up so fast though.

Hannah: So, how many bruises.

Thundra: Oh man, I haven’t copped many bad brusies, but I actually have a good one at the moment, I hope it hasn’t faded… (shows Hannah massive bruise on inner thigh),…

Hannah: ohhhh man

Thundra: I was just sitting there going owww

Hannah: How did you do it?

Thundra: We were being told we had to skate with our legs really far apart, and we had a bench put down in front of us, and it was like, you have to skate over this bench without moving from that position, and my skate caught on the side of it and I just went down. Other spectacular bruises: I fell over with my leg under me so my skate went right into my ass, and it was black. But I couldn’t show it to anyone.

Hannah: Yeah that’s not fair, is it, if you have a bruise you have to be able to show it. So, whats the strangest reaction you’ve got to the fact that you do roller derby?

Anna: Um, the most common one, which I think is really odd, is “Um, so are you all lesbians?” Actually, a lot of us are. Well, ok, not a lot….but no one really thinks about, or really notices…

Hannah: So sexuality isnt a big issue, not a big deal.

Thundra: No. You don’t even think about it.

Hannah: Are there people in relationships in the teams?

Thundra: Yes, actually! There's at least one couple I know of, and they are
pretty much the cutest ever, but I don't know about anyone else. I
wouldn't be surprised though. I harbored a pretty big crush on one of
the girls on my team for a while.

Hannah: So how many in a team?

Thundra: You can have up to 20 on a team in a who can skate at derby level, at
any one time there will be three blockers, a pivot and a jammer from
each team on the track, but you can have up to fourteen rostered on
for a game. You sub between bouts. You need quite a few jammers,
because they do so much work.

Hannah: Are there girls in teams who are more aggressive than they should be, who do it for the aggression rather than the sport? Do you get bad eggs?

Thundra: I’ve never really seen it. Everyone is really friendly, everyone gets along. I’ve never seen anybody be particularily nasty to each other. Apparently I’ve got a bad habit of growling while I’m blocking, and people are like, you need to stop doing that! I’ve never even noticed I’m doing it.

Hannah: So the people who play in your team, for example, are they sports women? Have they done lots of sports before and are super fit?

Thundra: We’ve actually been discussing this. Nearly all of us were the big
nerds in high school, who didn’t fit in, didn’t listen to the music
everyone else listened to, liked the things everyone else did, most of
us were just awful at school sports. We joke about the fact we are
completely un-cordinated, joke about getting hockey sticks out at the
last minute and have a mini hockey game…but someone would probably
die.

Hannah: So I heard the type of derby going on in WA is different from the type in America?

Thundra: Well, we do flat track derby. The main difference is that we are skating on a flat surface, for instance, in Whip It, the skating they do there is on a slope.

Hannah: Would that be more difficult? That sounds…tricky

Thundra: We havent done it, so I don’t know. If you fall down in flat track, you fall straight down. If you fall over in a bank track, you stack it, roll into the middle….

Hannah: When do you start playing against other teams?

Thundra: At the moment WARD isnt doing proper matches, because we haven’t got the people. But on the 29^th, we will be having a friends and family bout, just to get our legs in derby, and hopefully by the end of the year we will have proper derby matches we can sell tickets to.

Hannah: Have you ever thought of having cheerleaders?

Thundra: We were discussing that, because we were thinking of themes for all the teams, and my suggestion was that we have cheerleader teams. That might be fun. But we might have actual cheerleaders in the future.

Hannah: You should get guys to cheerlead! Theyre often very athletic, and derby is a female orientated sport, just flip it around!

Thundra: I would really enjoy that actually. I’d like to see that.

Hannah: Worst injury you’ve seen so far?

Anna: Oh, um, there was a match with Perth roller derby, which is a separate league to us,where two girls got concussion and one a blood nose, in our personal teams, not really…the first time my friend tried to learn to skate so she could do derby she fell over and broke her wrist. Dayzee, has had some SPECTACULAR bruises shes put up on facebook for everyone to see. But generally, we are very careful about safety, proper gear, proper skates, learning to fall.

Hannah: Skates always, not blades?

Thundra: Always skates. Refs can wear blades. Its a lot easier to do certain maneouvers on skates. Blades have speed, but not much else that is necessary in roller derby.

Hannah: Whats the best thing about it? What do you love about it?

Thundra: Bloody everything. We are athletes. We train hard. We work hard to get better at what we do. A lot of the girls skate four, five times a week. For someone like me, whos never been a fast runner, to skate and go so bloody fast. I just love that. There is such a great team atmosphere, everyone is really good friends and loves each other to bits. Especially good for people who aren’t used to being on teams, everyone is really nice, wants you to get better. And the fact we get to wear awesome outfits. No boring outfits in derby!

Hannah: Do you get to design your own?

Thundra: Each team has colours or a theme, and you can customise it. The cutlasses are a pirate team. With the dames there is a bit of a debate about what we are going to go with, it’s a toss up between school girls and sailors, to fit in with Fremantle.

Hannah: Do you have a captain?

Thundra: Not yet, but we have a few girls who are just amazing who everyone
defers to, so it will probably be one of them.

Hannah: Are you going to build it up to a stage where you can play interstate?

Thundra: Over east has some really good teams, even Tasmania. So hopefully, yes. That would be amazing.

Hannah: So whats the deal with tonight, Rink Rash Whip Lash?

Thundra: Raise money for gear, uniforms, extra training, a new floor and track layout, we are still very grass roots at the moment. The bigger leagues often have reserve money. Hopefully one day we have the funds to travel interstate, but at the moment its about paying for venues, for gear, for insurance. We are paying our own at the moment. The worst thing that can happen is you fall badly.

Hannah: Would you say there is a subculture of derby girls building up?

Thundra: I would think so, hey. When I started no one would know what I was doing. I would have my need pads on and people would look at me like “ What are you doing? Are you THAT bad at skating?” These days you can go to any skate rink and find derby girls. Especially tonight. Have you looked at the people out there? Its such a nice culture. You can identify the girls. They’ll be in the knee high socks and the knee pads, and the tshirt of some team you’ve never heard of. And anyone can go up to anyone else and say hi.

Hannah: Is there anything you want people to know about roller derby?

Thundra: Its so much more inclusive than people think. You can show up to a practice and have never skated before, and people will take the time to help you. Its great. I want everyone to do it.

Today is an important day of remembrance for women worldwide. On the second Sunday of May, we in the United States as well as those in approximately ninety other countries, including Italy, Ethiopia, Brazil, Australia, Singapore and Venezuela, celebrate our mothers and the gift of motherhood. If we are lucky enough to be in the [...]

Over here at GAB, we’re excited about an upcoming conference called Women Deliver, which several of us will be attending and covering, from the feminist beat.  It’s a big international women’s health and rights meeting planned for June 7-9 in Washington, DC, and that’s just a few weeks before the world’s G8/G20 Summits in Canada, [...]